I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
