My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
