You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
