Will you blow on my dice?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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