I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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