I must be too annoying 4 u.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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