We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
