I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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