how can u be prego again
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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