i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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