There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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