Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize