I just threw up on my dentist
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
