I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The uberlube is also flammable
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I love you. Go after that dick
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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