I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
