Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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