fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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