..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize