Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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