Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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