I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
