life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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