theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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