um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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