Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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