You really coming over, don't trick.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
well I can't set my house on fire every night
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
