Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
40s are totally the cure
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize