Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize