i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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