Me too!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize