And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i black out too much to be "responsible"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
