By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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