Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
