Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
