I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
