i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
