New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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