i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
