at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
