do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
