i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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