guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
