The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
