I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
