i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
