Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize