ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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