Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
