I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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