i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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