Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
