I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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