oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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