We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
