we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize