Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
