I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We have started to decorate penises.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
