I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
